Ladies and Gentlemen.. My motherfucking Tumblr!

Health update

Wed, 01 May 2013 03:17:33 -0600

Still no diagnosis

Still scared shitless

No one wants to be sick

No one wants to die

perhaps i am being over dramatic

But I wish it wasnt me.

You dont even want to know how many times i have done this

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:11:07 -0600

You dont even want to know how many times i have done this

There was once a girl

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 10:42:42 -0700

There was once a girl
She was born
Merely existed a bit
she she grew
She blossomed
She learned and lived
She loved

The girl grew
and the world became real
She hung in
With every puff
With every line
And every slam

The girl got stuck
As if in the own black tar
That sent her elsewhere
she thought she was living
she was existing
She was surviving
Too naive to know

She no longer lived
She no longer was
Life of the party
she never wanted attend.

The mess of a girl
Who can recognize that?
She can’t
The growth stunted
She just went back to existing
but her eyes
Her truthful eyes told her truth
She knew
They knew or found out
This tainted girl was hollow

She looks back
and shakes her head.
The girl she was
No longer able to handle it
She can no longer exist
She can no longer take up space

This girl
This woman will pick up the peices
And live along the way
It’s all she can do
And will do

Taste the touch

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:13:29 -0700

Too many types of people
All reaching out to connect
Some feel the offer
a bolt of lightning pulsates through them

Senses
Taste
Feel
Olfactory
Sight

Writing caresses all the senses
Its sensual and vulgar
Sweet and like vinegar

Always wanted to taste words
As they fell
or were whispered my way
Honey dripping from my lips
As I spoke
Or venom spewing like a fountain
My tongue
I wanted the strokes of my words to leave a mark
Like brushes dipped in paint
My own letters to be felt
Leaving marks like wet paint
Staining if until the next wash
But remembered
Through touch of breathe
Or taste
Of my sentences
eat my words
Physical
and emotional

Jump still.

Sat, 27 Oct 2012 13:34:09 -0600

I’m on edge at all times in my life. My stomach is always in knots, my hands are always positioned as if they are clutching at something. From the top of my head to the tips of my toes I am always ready. I sleep rarely and dream even less as if I was never meant to relax. I suppose its why I choose a slightly less aggressive way of life. As if I wish to balance out my already “ready” nature. If one is to ask me to be active I simply pass. I am already activated, and don’t wish to engage in an anything else that will tire me out further when I know that I cannot rest even still.

the encounter

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 12:21:16 -0600

He’s quiet
too much
Its discomforting
He stares, but speaks in volumes with his eyes
Eyes so dark you fall
So deep you’ll never get out
And you don’t want to
He never touches
to touch means to simply use hands
He infiltrates
He becomes you.
The taste of his skin is incomparable
sweeter than fruit and sweat
Smoother than silk.
Still no words
I could scream through his deafening silence
But those dark eyes
Onyx and deep
I can barely breathe
The willing prey
Swaying to the silent song of my dark siren
To devour him isn’t enough
I couldn’t if I tried
Closing my eyes I wait
I wait
I wait
He is closer
Closer
closer
His fingertip touch my eyes
Almost reverently
But with authority
I’m his
He’s in me
A seductive smirk catches my ears
Obediently my eyes stay shut
Tips of fingers drag to my jaw
They are cold
I’m on fire
I’m burning inside
Crying even
I let my eyes meet his
I stare into him
He stares through me
The volumes in his eyes
I have to know
Absorb what’s given
What’s offered
Hes in tuned
He already knows my need
He steps back
I push forward
but those eyes stop me
Calling me follow
Obey
Need
My chest constricts
His feet step further
Am I dying?
Does he know he has consumed me?
We stare
We examine
We know
He turns and walks away
But not without a last look
A toothy grin
A nod
And a silent promise

no name

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 12:15:56 -0600

I’m not supposed to want him
I do
Not to love him I do
He shouldn’t want me
He doesn’t
So he’s free
And I’m unwanted
Ide give anything to forget
Erase him
Not remember his mouth
His charm
He doesn’t see mine
So why am I stuck with him on my mind
Because I’m a fool
I seek the pure
But the pure knows
I’m tainted

"When I say, ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to..."

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:52:33 -0600

“When I say, ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a person.”

- Joss Whedon (via loveyourchaos)
Mans a genius

who ARE you?

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 02:39:34 -0600

I forgot I had a tumblr

Bulimics need to stop wasting food.

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 10:48:41 -0600

Bulimics need to stop wasting food.

I’m falling out of the world.

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 21:24:06 -0600

I’m falling out of the world.

Upside down smile

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:11:17 -0700

God.

What is one thing that will win your heart?

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 18:33:15 -0700

Nothing.

early-onset-of-night: Tattoo artist Ryan Fitzgerald from...

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 17:36:42 -0700

early-onset-of-night:

Tattoo artist Ryan Fitzgerald from Dayton, OH was hit with a $100,000 lawsuit last week by his ex-girlfriend Rossie Brovent. She claims that her boyfriend was supposed to tattoo a scene from Narnia on her back but instead tattooed an image of a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.

Apparently, Ryan found out that Rossie had cheated with a long-time friend of his, but instead of confronting her about it he acted like everything was normal and hatched a plan for revenge. Originally, Rossie tried to have Ryan charged with assault, but the ingenious tattoo artist had covered his bases by plying Rossie with wine and tequila shots and getting her to sign a consent form that stated the design was “at the artist’s discretion.”

No word from Rossie on whether the illicit night of passion with Ryan’s friend was worth it. Moral of the story? Never cheat on a tattoo artist.

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Photo

Sat, 12 Nov 2011 05:27:57 -0700

I offer nothing to you but myself I am nothing If not enough No where near the top But here I...

Sat, 05 Nov 2011 04:07:31 -0600

I offer nothing to you but myself I am nothing If not enough No where near the top But here I am Cracked and bleeding I am brute Clutching the knife to my belly My demise by my own hand Brandished by my own knife I loved you ceasar With my end You live.

I did not have the heart to erase it. Its two thoughts in one. Maybe one day ill separate them.

I’m losing it

And I have no one. Even my mind checked out

K

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 16:25:36 -0600

You offer no solace I have no answer No words

That’s all there is.. There isn’t anymore

I like tumblr

Sun, 30 Oct 2011 20:56:02 -0600

Because no one gives a fuck what I say. They just collect followers.. they wish to recruit me. I’m nothing to them as they are nothing to me

Imagine

Sun, 30 Oct 2011 03:05:33 -0600

Been diagnosed so many times..

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

All I know is I keep thinking about killing myself.

Obsessing is more like it.

Hi tumblr..been a while

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 02:19:08 -0600

Hi tumblr..been a while